Those of you who know me are aware that I like to entertain alternative ways of thinking. Every aspect of life, if you noodle on it enough (shoutout Sicker for the phrase), always has a deeper meaning. I don’t want to get into the semantics of this statement (for now) because I know that I’ll ramble on paragraph after paragraph, but I would like to lay down a framework for real-life scenarios. That being said, our country is in a state right now where everything feels upside down, and it seems that everything we read about leans toward the negative side or aims to divide us as a people. On top of that, every event unfolding before our very eyes seems like a poorly strung together distraction from an atrocity we heard about a week before. It’s a continuous cycle, and originally, it seemed, that the mainstream media fed into this nonstop descent to apathy through fear-mongering and division. It took a certain set of files being dropped (not naming names) to shift the media’s entire approach, and our collective knowledge finally led to the disillusionment of Americans (who read). However, this contributed to a new cycle where the truth is right in front of our eyes and all we can do is accept reading about a new breach of democracy daily. The evil that is our regime manifests itself through supporting genocides, shying away from the prosecution of monsters (to put it bluntly) while going after innocent immigrants whom most of which are citizens, and obliterating innocent people while turning a blind eye to the war crimes that come with it. All while insider trading, these people now are churning out “f*** you money” covered in the blood of the innocent. When a group of leaders are all rallied around one evil cause (the great state), it’s easy to feel like we’re helpless, or crabs in a bucket while a fisherman looms over with a Coleman grill, to put it metaphorically.
In short, it seems to the naked eye that there’s no way out of the darkness that the world is facing no matter how much we rally together. Furthermore, when the world is in a state of sickness, those notions of nihilism and hopelessness permeate into people on a personal level. It’s totally normal to feel like you can’t do anything to mitigate this evil, no matter how much you care about the cause. It’s just the way the system is set up. While these evils are uncovered at higher levels, we also have “evils” in our own personal lives. For example, addiction, grief, shame, anxiety, and depression in people my age are common issues that may make you feel like your world is ending, much like the world on a political scale. These are the wars that we fight ourselves, while the entire world is basically at war on top of it. It’s overwhelming, that’s all I can say. But what if these issues in our lives are also the antecedents for growth? What if we can put a positive spin on our own issues and use them to reinforce our beliefs and sense of self in order to bring actual change to the world around us?
That’s why I’m here. I know I said that I wouldn’t ramble about my claim of alternative ways of thinking, but I lied. Sorry. Now that we got that out of the way, I would like to share my story regarding these “wars.” As a college student, it’s pretty normal (and even beneficial in some cases) to drink a case and go out. The only issue with that is keeping it in moderation, weekends only. That’s something that I didn’t understand during my first couple of years at Fisher. I took it a step further, and before I knew it, I found myself in my own state of hopelessness through substance abuse, creeping up on me drink by drink, joint by joint, until it was perceivedly too late. It got to the point where I was a shell of myself, getting high as soon as my eyes opened in the morning just to feel normal. The entire time, I told myself that “this is not normal,” but never did anything about it. If the world around me was crumbling, I might as well collapse myself and give into the pressures that we face daily. In short, I prioritized fun over productivity until fun wasn’t fun anymore. A barrage of college students face this same issue, and while it could be worse, it’s easy to feel that your world is collapsing, just like mine was. Weed, no matter what benefits it carries, cannot serve its purpose if you’re lighting up 4 times a day and using it as a crutch. It will only push you into a spiral of anxiety, which leads to depression. However, when I was at rock bottom (February 13, 2025), I faced myself with the hard truth. Either continue the cycle and marinate in a state of deep depression while freaking out over anything that could go wrong but probably won’t (anxiety is a bitch), or do something about it and not let the virtues, gifts, and work ethic that I was blessed with go to waste. Every instance you find yourself in that’s similar, always take the latter.
Fast forward two months later - the world finally started to gain color again. Color that I would never have seen had I continued to live in a haze. On the last day of sophomore year, I came to an epiphany while sitting on the porch and enjoying the ever-elusive Busch Apple for the first time (didn’t disappoint, flavor just got old after two). I realized that had I not tumbled into rock bottom, I never would have found my way back up and then some, while emphasizing the little things. Four months after that, and I lived out the best three months of my life in Rome with people I never would have met if I stayed trapped in that cycle. Translation: there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel that will give you back what you lost tenfold.
Depression is nothing short of horrid while it lasts, but there’s a real silver lining in it. Our tribulations shape who we are as individuals. It sounds crazy, but let me illustrate this claim step by step. This is THE alternative way of thinking that I mentioned in the first paragraph that led me to think deeper. Tribulations make us stronger as a people. This strength can be identified as endurance, which leads to us becoming reinforced versions of ourselves. Endurance shows us that while we may be going through something, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. That’s something special within itself. This “delusional” confidence that everything WILL get better, no doubt about it, is what kept me here, and I use my experiences and newly-reinforced worldview to help others going through the same thing. In this regard, endurance, therefore, produces a sense of self. While I was in that spiral, I felt like I didn’t even know myself, like my personality went up in smoke. However, I came out on the other side as a strengthened, finally happy to live 19-year old kid who was taking on the world one day at a time. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but it really was a night and day change. The moral here is that no matter where you are in life, you’re exactly where you need to be. There’s always a deeper silver lining in everything, just think alternatively.
I was at church last weekend with the family, and Father Neil (legend) at the Cathedral said something that really struck a cord with me. If you read my last issue, you would know that I’m a big fan of Wendell Berry’s ideals, so naturally I was all ears when the priest mentioned his name. Berry put two words on the page that carried the weight of 100 pages - “practice resurrection.” In your life, in your relationships, your job, or anything else that may need fixing, practice resurrection. Don’t toil over the tough situation you’re in, instead become a better version of yourself by being better to others. After all, we really all are just cells working together for a common purpose. Becoming that radiant version of yourself will emanate to other people, like a sunny day after months of rain/snow (fitting for Rochester, where I’m based right now). That "resurrection" will 100% rub off on others, as it did for me. No matter where you are in life, help others and offer yourself as a beacon of hope. That’s all you need in this life.
To return to the point I made earlier, we can also practice resurrection through our own worldviews. Like I said, it’s easy to feel like nothing is going to change, but that’s just what the “great state’s” control over our media wants you to think. The war will end eventually. There will be world peace. Promise I’m not being naive - we’re too powerful of a species, and our voices will collectively shine through to put an end to these atrocities and rise up against this evil. It may not be now, it may not be in a year, but we just have to hold out hope. I mentioned a reinforced sense of self earlier, but that’s not the final step in the process of tribulations. This character, which radiates to others, produces Hope as a finished product. We just need to hold out this hope, no matter how delusional it may seem.
- Joe D
